Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Tickled Tuesday: My Anti Birthday List

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Each year, as a loved one's birthday approaches, we're apparently supposed to ask them what they want for their birthday--that is, if we remember their birthday in the first place. When someone asks what I want for my birthday, I feel put on the spot and also a bit uncomfortable. Making a birthday list is something that I just don't do. Yes, there are things I dream of having someday, but I'm not going to go around asking people to buy me those things. It just doesn't feel right. Plus, where is someone going to find a unicorn anyway?

All jokes aside, I'm kind of the best person to give a gift to. My mother can vouch for this. She jokes about me opening up a package of socks under the Christmas tree, clutching the socks to my chest, and exclaiming, "YES!  I REALLY, REALLY NEEDED SOCKS!" Of course, I would then rip the current socks off my feet, tear open the package of new socks, and promptly apply a pair of those brand new socks to my tootsies. It doesn't matter what the gift is, really. Judge my corniness if you must, but it truly is the thought that counts.

With all of that said, my birthday is next week, and I've heard the birthday list question come up more than once. This year, I have decided that I'm going to give in. That's right. I'm making a list...an anti birthday list. This may not answer the what do you want for your birthday? question, but it should definitely answer what I do not want on my birthday.

My anti birthday list/what I don't want for my birthday

  • A Bob Saget poster
  • A chronic case of diarrhea
  • Tickets to a Justin Bieber concert
  • A poster of Miley Cyrus and her stupid tongue. Put that tongue back in your mouth, woman. What are you, a golden retriever? 
  • Scabies
  • Lice
  • A ferret
  • A snake
  • The book Crafting with Cat Hair
  • Confessions of a Guidette by Snooki
  • Tickets to a Nickelback concert
  • Jury duty
  • A speeding ticket
  • A root canal
  • A blizzard. Let me clarify. If it's a Dairy Queen blizzard, I'll totally take it. If it's the kind of blizzard that involves a large quantity of snow falling from the sky, well, no thanks.

So there you go. I'm not too picky, am I?

What's on your anti birthday list? 


  1. I'd totally take a winter blizzard, especially if it was narrated by Bob Sagat. I'm rather done with the 80 degree weather we're getting in the Midwest, and it's only May.

    1. I live in Idaho, so I've had enough cold weather. I'll trade places with you :).

    2. From everything I could find quickly, Cleveland (where I am) had more snow than Idaho this winter by a significant margin. Still want to trade?

    3. Yes, this side of the country had an easier winter this year, but I'll trade the current weather.
      80 degrees sounds nice

  2. my problem is that most of the things I want/need are expensive and I feel bad asking for them.

    1. Yes, that's kind of true for me as well. An entire new wardrobe? Yes please!

  3. We've already had our share of lice this year...so I'm with you on that one for sure! Actually, I'm with you on all of them!

    1. Yikes! I'm sorry to hear that about the lice :(. Glad you could relate to my list though!

  4. My birthday is right after Christmas, so when it comes around I have to scramble because I usually got anything I wanted a few weeks earlier...

    1. Ah, I always wondered what it would be like to have a birthday right around Christmas. It's like you get two Christmases kind of. Lucky you :)


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